


If You Looked Up, You'd Know Where You Were Going

by MaskedMew



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Highschool AU, M/M, Teen AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskedMew/pseuds/MaskedMew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a little crush. A little crush that turned into a monster of a crush. Jack was tired of being alone and invisible, so he left a note on a cup of coffee. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Note on the Back of a Cup

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thing a made! It's a playlist for the story: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTqKeWGJtyTWt5vPtJWioX5_64Y6va-cR
> 
> Enjoy!

Jack’s eyes narrowed, looking at the boy across the cafeteria. His friends weren’t here yet. He’d wanted to approach this beautiful boy for weeks now. The wonder was eating him alive. He needed to talk to him at the very least to continue living. He walked up to the coffee stand, buying the beverage from one of his female classmates, whom said nothing other than ‘hi,’ ‘what do you want’, and ‘that’ll be 1.50’. Jack crossed his fingers that Mark would like the coffee, otherwise there was 1.50 used in vain. He tried to stroll casually across the cafeteria. Beginning to panic, he quickly sat at a table near Mark’s, and he jotted a message on the cup. “You’re cute,” he wrote, adding a little heart, that honestly looked more eye than heart.He watched Mark, whom had just rested his head on his arms, tiredly hiding his face. Perfect. Jack snuck over there, setting the coffee cup down in front of him stealthily, then ninja-ing his way out of there. Now he watched from far away, waiting. Finally Mark suddenly looked up, rubbing his eyes, checking his phone. Confusion flashed on the teen's face as he examined the cup, picking it up. Jack watched with a smile as Mark looked around, eyes wide and puzzled. Jack watched, grin growing as Mark’s friends joined him, surely asking about the coffee as he tried to hide it and the message. Jack’s heart skipped a beat as Mark looked right at him, and he tried to pretend he hadn’t been staring. Luckily for him the bell rang, dismissing him to band. He went straight to the class, trying to act casual.

“What’s up with you today?” one of his fellow percussionists asked, “You look happier than I’ve like, ever seen you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jack snapped, crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out. The girl rolled her eyes,

“I wondered when you’d fall in love. Who is it?”

“Audrey, I have _no clue_ what you’re talking about,” Jack deflected, twirling his drumsticks, trying fruitlessly to maintain his punk status.

“Is it someone in here?” she said, slightly softer. Jack brought a finger to his lips.

“Shh,” he hissed. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Mark coming in, holding his cup of coffee.

“OH my God you’re soo g-”

“Shush!” Jack exclaimed a little too loud, covering her mouth with his hand.

“Okay, I get it,” she said, voice muffled. “I won’t tell a soul.”

“Good, you don’t want to know what will happen if you do,” Jack growled.

“Oh come on, it’s too late. I know you’re a softie,” Audrey said, smirking, and heading over to the bass drum.

“I’m not a fuckin softie,” Jack said, but the goofy smile on his face said otherwise.

“Ready to tune?” the band teacher asked. Jack sat patiently in the back, watching Mark lift up his trumpet and begin to play. _He’s so good_ , Jack said silently, _How does he do it?_  Just as he thought that Mark’s instrument let out a god awful noise. _What the fuck have I gotten myself into_ , he thought. The room went quiet as the teacher moved on tuning the woodwinds. Mark’s bored gaze travelled to the percussion section. Jack tried to act chill. Audrey’s obnoxious winking was _CERTAINLY_ not helping. Jack felt his stomach flip as he briefly met eyes with Mark. Dreamy, luscious brown eyes- _what the fuck am I thinking? This isn’t English, I don’t need to be writing fucking poems_ , Jack thought.

Which why he was surprised to find himself doing just that during lunch. He was sitting alone as usual, having not particularly bonded with anyone at his new school. Which wasn’t a big deal, there was only one person he really wanted to bond with, if you catch my drift ;)

He was putting his thoughts down in a small notebook he’d found at the bottom of his locker (a miracle in itself.) He’d already scribbled through a good 7 pages and hadn’t even touched his food. What exactly he was trying to accomplish he wasn’t sure, but he felt as though he had to jot _something_ down.

“Things I Like About Mark” was a heading on page 8, and next to it, page 9, blank except for the heading, “Things Not to Like About Mark”. He sighed, tapping his pencil against the edge of the table, watching Mark from far away. As usual he was with his friends. The way he was flailing his arms it appeared he was telling a story. That when Jack noticed a piece of paper in his hands. _Is that my note? Is-Is he talking about my note?_  Suddenly he heard a voice, pulling him from his fantasy.

“Hey there lover-boy, mind if I sit with you?”

Audrey. “Whatever,” Jack said, slamming the notebook shut.

“Diary?” Audrey asked, touching the notebook. Jack shooed her hand away,

“No! It’s just a notebook, I was, uh, drawing!”

“Let me see these drawings,” Audrey said with a smirk, “IF that’s what they really are.” Jack sighed,

“You’re not looking in here.”

“Why not?” Audrey asked, “You writing poems?”

“What’s so wrong with that anyways?” Jack replied softly.

“You actually were? Please le-”

“No, they’re bad,” Jack interjected, clutching the journal close to his chest.

“If you say so,” Audrey said, resting her head on the palm of her hand. “Tomorrow you should come sit with me and the girls.”

“But then I’d look like I was hitting on all of you-”

“-A little jealousy never killed anyone,” Audrey interrupted, “Besides, don’t you get lonely over here by yourself?”

“No,” Jack said, but they both knew it wasn’t the truth. Crippling loneliness was probably the reason this crush was so bad anyways.

“So, are you going to send Mark another note?” Audrey asked quietly.

“Uh, actually, I was planning on putting one in his band locker tomorrow,” Jack replied, voice barely audible.

“Sweet!” Audrey squealed. “Can I tell my girls about your little love story-”

“-Absolutely not. It’s bad enough that you know,” Jack interjected.

“They can keep secrets,” Audrey insisted.

“No they can’t! I’d be all over social media, and then everyone and their dog would know about my crush!” Jack exclaimed.

“Awwwww,” Audrey whined.

“Don’t look so disappointed,” Jack said. The brunette sighed,

“You might wanna look up. Kristen is totally all over your man right now.”

“He’s not my man,” Jack commented, but he couldn’t help but be jealous at how easily the blonde interacted with Mark. She sat down right next to him, and Jack watched in horror as Mark held up the note. The blonde started to shake her head no, but she stopped, saying something. “Oh my god, is she claiming my note? I cannot believe this, oh my god,” Jack said, panicking.

“Calm down. I’ll figure this one out. Give me your phone number, you’ll have the results by the end of the day,” Audrey exclaimed.

“I, uh, don’t have a phone?” Jack squeaked.

“Wh-What? How? What do you do with your time?” Audrey said, clearly having a mini break-down. Jack rolled his eyes.

“I live,” he said, which wasn’t exactly true, in reality he just scrolled through tumblr on his laptop, but Audrey didn’t need to know that.

“Whatever. I’ll just try to find you by the end of the day, how ‘bout that?”

“Sure,” Jack said, just as the bell rang.

“We might have to slay a bitch,” Audrey exclaimed, rushing off to rejoin her flock of fellow females. Jack sighed. Being around someone like her was almost exhausting.

Jack found himself at his locker, gathering his things, peering down the hall. Mark was at his locker, surrounded by a few girls, including “Kristen”. Jack felt a tap on his shoulder, dropping his things in his panic. “Way to make a scene.”

“Uh, hey Audrey,” he said, picking up his math binder. “Why are you here?”

“I just wanted to warn you to stop staring at him so _passionately_. You’re not being subtle at all.” And with that the green-eyed girl practically skipped off to her class. Jack slammed his locker shut, pausing to make sure he had everything.  Rushing towards the stairs, he blindly ran into someone. A special someone.

“Oh, sorry,” Jack mumbled, trying not to look up, face surely burning bright red.

“It’s fine. If you looked up then you’d know where you were going,” Mark commented. Jack’s eyes slowly left his binder, and his met Mark’s briefly, catching a smile, before quickly looking away. “Have a nice day.”

“Y-Yeah, you too,” Jack said, darting away. He practically flew up the steps, heart pounding in his chest. Those were like the first words Mark had ever said to him. Jack walked into the math class, taking a seat in the back away from everyone else. While the teacher spoke in terms he couldn’t understand he wrote “if you looked up then you’d know where you were going,” over and over again. It had a double meaning to him, and he couldn’t let those words go. He couldn’t forget. They were assigned homework, but it’s not like he’d do it. Yes, he cared about his grades, but he couldn’t understand the fucking problems and it just didn’t seem worth it to try anymore.

Jack found himself taking his time at his locker, waiting for Audrey to show up. When she did, she had a mischievous grin on her face, holding a paper."Shh," she whispered, giving him a little wave and rushing off. Jack shoved the letter in his pocket. He figured it was good news, but he didn't want to getting upset over bad news _here_. He slammed his locker shut, pulling his beanie and earbuds out of his bag. Rushing down the main hall, he almost ran into Mark again. Mark looked as though he wanted to say something, but Jack picked up pace, his bus was leaving! He sprinted down the sidewalk, barely catching that bus. He sat in a random seat, near the back, and turned his music on. It was hardcore shit, deathmetal to end all deathmetal. In reality it wasn't even his favorite genre, it just made him feel more hardcore himself, and important image to keep up. It'd kept him safe so far. But how much longer could it last, with people like Audrey figuring him out?  

Jack reached into his bag, nervously picking up the note. It had been written on an old math assignment. He opened it up, and in big black letters it read, “ **THE ONLY PERSON GAYER THAN YOU IS MARK.** ” Jack grinned.

“God fucking damnit Audrey,” he said outloud, shoving the note into his pocket. The kid in the seat across from him rose an eyebrow. Jack panicked a little as he saw it was one of Mark’s friends. “What?” Jack snapped, sitting farther back in the seat. The looked a little surprised, but looked away. Jack breathed a sigh of relief, pulling the note back out. There was a little heart Audrey had drawn, in the center it said “S+M=OTP.” Jack’s face reddened a little. Of course Audrey would ship them. What had he expected?

Next he pulled out his mp3, selecting the shuffle button and smiling as a softer song came on. A love song. Fuck. He closed his eyes, allowing himself some peace before he arrived in Hell.

 

 


	2. The House at the End of the Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of suffering.

Alas, bus rides don’t last forever, and the teen found himself walking slowly down the sidewalk, taking a back route so no one could follow him. The house his family lived in was certainly not the nicest, and it was still in the “moving process”, boxes everywhere, a lack of spoons, clothing you couldn’t find. Jack just couldn’t figure out _why_ his parents up and left Ireland, but here they were, in the heart of Ohio. And there certainly wasn’t much he could do about it now.

Jack went around the back, trying to slip inside the house silently. His plan worked, and he successfully hid in his room, shutting the door gently. Already he could hear yelling through the thin walls, and he cringed as something smashed against the wall. His hopes of it finally being over were shattered, and he collapsed onto his bed. Now something electronic was playing, bass buzzing in his ears, distracting him for a second. But then he heard his mom yell to him. He sighed, taking his earbuds out and pausing the song. He didn’t feel like yelling back, so he opened his door. “There you are. We need to talk about your grades mister,” she hissed. Jack sighed. He knew where this was going. “I know it’s hard switching schools, but you could put in a little more effort.” Jack didn’t say anything. “If you don’t get your math grade up there will be consequences.”

“Like what? I’ve got nothing to lose,” Jack snapped.

“I don’t like that attitude,” she hissed, crossing her arms.

“Whatever,” Jack said, turning to go back into his room.

“Hey! We aren’t done!” his mom yelled. Jack froze.

“What?”

“When are you going to make some friends? I seriously thought by now you’d be inviting some bros over or something.”

“I’m _working_ on it,” Jack mumbled, “Can I go now?”

“Are you really? You’ve been here since September. It’s the end of November. Time’s slipping away.”

“I _know_ ,” Jack murmured, “But it’s not like it matters. We won’t be here forever.”

“That’s the wrong way to look at it. We could be here ‘forever’.”

“I don’t want to stay here forever,” Jack whimpered, “I want to go home.”

“This is home-”

“No it’s not! No one likes me here. They-No, nevermind. You don’t care! You didn’t care until you saw I was failing a subject!” Jack cried, running to his room before his mother could stop him, slamming the door shut. His breath caught as he tried to control his his tears. “ _Fuck_ ,” he mumbled, “ _God dammi_ t.”

He woke up to a knock at the door. “Jack?” his mother said, voice muffled by the door. Jack sat up, looking around. He’d either fallen off his bed or fallen asleep on the floor. Quickly he stood up, stuffing his mp3 in a drawer. “I warmed up some leftovers for you, if you want some.” Jack walked over slowly, opening the door.

“Th-Thank you,” he said, taking the plate. His mother looked like she wanted to say something else, but she just averted her eyes and walked away. Jack stared at where she’d been, before shutting the door. The food on his plate seemed particularly unappetizing, but he might as well humor his mother. He took a few bites, a wave of nausea washing over him. Gently he pushed the plate away, staring at the ceiling. _How had it gotten like this?_

His mom came back a little later, finding him asleep next the plate of uneaten food, shooting him a look of worry but letting him sleep. She bent down, picking up the plate and carrying it to the kitchen. There was still a pile of glass on the pushed up against the wall. She ignored it, scraping the plate, and putting it in the sink.

…

“ _Who the FUCK are you anyways? Why are you even here? No one likes you. I can’t believe you thought you had a chance with ME. Who do you think you are? You don’t even have the nerve to talk to me face to face. Do you even fucking speak? Oh wait, you did murmur something pathetic to me. What was it? I couldn’t hear it. All I caught was a shitty accent._ ”

Jack’s eyes snapped open. Still on the floor, the cold floor. It was dark in his room. The image of Mark still wasn’t fading. He could practically see him right in front of him. Jack touched his face, which was covered in warm tears. He sucked in a shaky breath, closing his eyes. _No, not ready for more sleep_ , he thought, standing up.

The plate of food was gone. His mother had been in here. “Shit,” he mumbled, heading towards the door. She’d left it open, probably on purpose. She didn’t want him doing anything stupid. Slowly he unzipped his backpack, pulling out his jacket. He slipped it on, and tiptoed through the door. He went out the back door, the cool night air practically freezing the tears on his face. November was a lot colder than he remembered. His breath pushed steam through the air, just like home. _Home_. He exhaled, shaking. It wasn’t worth it. He started to run, going so fast he forgot how to breathe, and he hit the ground, scraping his knee on the sidewalk. He laid there, staring, puzzled, up at the stars. They looked different here. They looked wrong. Everything looked wrong. He tried sitting up, nausea passing through his body. He shouldn’t have started running, shit, he was out of shape and exhausted. His knee buzzed with pain. “Why do I always do stupid shit like this?” he asked himself outloud. Finally he pulled himself up, looking around, dazed. He looked at the hole in his jeans, and the bloody mess that was his knee. His mom would certainly have questions.

He stood up a little too fast, reeling in the air for a second. He caught his balance, and he started to walk slowly back to his house. As he approached it, he noticed a light on in the kitchen. “FuCk!” he swore, running through the yard despite his body screaming, ‘pls god no.’ His hand hit the doorknob, and he pulled the door open. His mom stood there, a condescending glare.

“Why were you outside at 5 AM?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“I woke up,” Jack replied, knowing it was a shitty excuse.

“That doesn’t give you a reason to run around in the dark where there could be pedophiles and serial killers.”  
“I wish,” he muttered.

“What-Happened to your knee?”

Jack sheepishly tried to hide the scrape. “Nothing, it’s fine.” He tried to go back to his room.

“It doesn’t look fine,” she commented.

“It’s fine!” he snapped, “I swear. I’ll-I’ll take care of it. Just leave me alone, please.”

His mother stood in stunned silence as he pushed past her, slamming his bedroom door shut. “Where did I go wrong?” she muttered, heading back to the kitchen. Jack felt his stomach flip. " _Where did I go wrong? Where did I go wrong?"_ his thoughts echoed.

Jack watched the clock, focusing on not crying. School was going to be _hell_. Minutes passed, and his mom came to his door. “I’ve got some cereal for you,” she said.

“Okay,” Jack mumbled. He hid as his mom opened the door, setting the bowl on his desk. She gave him a worried glance. He cast his eyes down, trying to merge with the wall. Or disappear altogether. “Get it together,” he mumbled to himself. _That’s what they all say_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to do weekly updates :D 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> You know, if you're into that whole suffering thing~
> 
> (I know this is kind of short)-(Sorry)


	3. The Conversation in the Bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more suffering

Jack felt a tap on his shoulder, and he groaned. “What?”

“What’s going on with you-?” Audrey asked.

“Nothing. It’s nothing,” he responded, “You don’t have to be here. Go back with your friends.”

“Woah, are you sure it’s nothing?” Audrey said, surprised at his outburst. This was a completely different side of him than yesterday.

“Please just leave,” Jack muttered, voice strained.

“Not until I know what’s going on,” she replied defiantly.

“Just leave me alone!” he yelled, face turning red as all eyes turned on him. He ran from the spot, Audrey sitting frozen like a deer in headlights.

Jack dashed straight into the bathroom, hiding in a stall and sobbing. _Now he thinks I’m fucking asshole, and that I’m weird, what was I thinking? He can’t like someone like me! My mother can’t even love me. So fucking useless. Ugh, idiot._

His heart skipped a beat as he heard the bell rang. He remained frozen in his spot. No one could see him. He couldn’t face Mark.. Besides, detention would be a great excuse, it’d give him an extra hour or two of not being home. Perfect. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind and stop his shaking hands. He tapped the ground, counting in his head. One, two, three. _No one will miss you_. Four...Five, six. _They probably won’t even realize you’re gone._ Seven, eight, nine- _They are glad you’re not there_. Ten, eleven, _You sound horrible._ Twelve, twelve… _They’re all hoping you never come back_ , Thirteen, fourteen, _Miserable assholes like you just won’t let go._ Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, _Are you just going to waste away in here?_ Eighteen, nineteen, _Is that your stupid plan?_ Twenty, _Of course it is._ Twenty, twenty…  A different voice came in.

_**What did you expect from a no one? He can’t lead. He can’t even talk to me in person**. _

“Mark, I’m...I’m trying,” Jack cried.

“-What?”

Jack froze. That voice came from reality.

“Sean? Is that you in there? I’m supposed to come get you?” Mark asked.

A lump formed in Jack’s throat as he tried to find words. Finally he spat out, “Yes.”

“Are you okay? Audrey said you ran off towards the bathroom, and I, was sent by Mrs. Kline to came find you.”

Jack struggled to breathe. “Are-Are you, uh, crying?” Mark said softly. He was right up against the door.

“N-No,” Jack said, “No, I’m fine.”

“Then we should, uh, let’s get back to class-”

“No!” Jack cried, “I mean, no, no I don’t want to.”

“Why?” Mark asked, “I thought you liked band-?”

“I do! I just, I just can’t go,” Jack mumbled.

“Please come with me,” Mark pleaded, “I could, um, I could probably convince the teacher to not count you late.”

“Why does it matter?” Jack asked softly, energy drained from his voice. “Besides, she doesn’t like me.”

“Why do think that? She doesn’t hate anyone!” Mark exclaimed.

“Oh come on, you’re one of her favorites,” Jack scoffed, “You’re just so good at like, everything.”

“Pfft. I’m not that good-”

“I don’t want to hear it. Why do you care anyways? You don’t even know me,” Jack interrupted.

“I…” Mark didn’t finish.

Jack found that he couldn't breathe.

“You’re right. But I want to know you,” Mark said.

“Really?” Jack squeaked.

“Well, yeah. You, uh, you seem like a good person. And you have hella good hair.”

“Hella?” Jack mimicked. Mark laughed,

“I don’t know. Let’s ‘hella’ get out of here,” Mark said.

“Finee,” Jack responded, timidly opening the door. “I look like a mess,” he mumbled, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

“Nah, you’re fine,” Mark reassured, “Mrs. Kline is gonna kick my ass. The poor trumpet section must be lost without me.”

“You want me to believe a freshman is first trumpet?” Jack asked, a smirk on his face.

“I should be first,” Mark pouted.

“I would agree, but after that sound you made yesterda-”

“That wasn’t my fault!” Mark interjected, “There was, uh, too much spit! It needed cleaned out.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Jack said, smile fading as they reached the Band room and the two parted ways. Audrey raised an eyebrow. Jack sighed. Now he’d have to tell her everything. Like how he basically spilled all his secrets to someone he hardly knows. Jack glanced over at Mark. Something about him just radiated...safety. He’d never had it this bad for anyone before. _Maybe they’re cuter in America_ , he joked to himself. He grabbed a sheet of music and a pair of sticks and heading over to the unused snare. He tried to ignore the curious look in Audrey’s eyes, the way she was pleading to know what happened. He knew she was just dying for class to end. _I’m gonna make you suffer, Audrey_ , he thought, smirking.

The second the bell rang she was in his face, “What’d I miss?”

“Oh, nothing,” Jack said curtly, walking faster than her. She ran up beside him,

“Don’t give me this ‘oh nothing’ shit, _something_ went down, and I need to know,” Audrey exclaimed. The corner of Jack’s lips twitched as he tried not to laugh.

“What did you think happened?” Jack asked sarcastically.

“You prince came and rescued you from the bathroom, and he fell in love with you, and-”

“I’m gonna stop you there. That isn’t what happened,” Jack interrupted. Audrey looked at him, willing him to continue.

“TELL ME!” she whined, “Don’t I deserve to know?” Jack crossed his arms, sticking his tongue out.

“I’ll tell you if you can catch me,” he said, sprinting towards his locker.

“OH I’M GOING TO CATCH YOU!” she yelled, cornering him and grabbing onto his hood.

“Well fuck,” Jack murmured, sullenly opening his locker.

“Well fuck is right, asshole, tell me what went down in the bathroom,” she exclaimed. Suddenly her face paled as a teacher placed their hand on her shoulder.

“We do not tolerate language like that here, missy. Office. Now,” the teacher growled. Audrey groaned, shooting the ‘I see you’ hand gesture at Jack her whole way down the hall, much to Miss Henson’s annoyance. Jack felt a tiny bit bad about withholding the info and getting Audrey in trouble, but he pushed it away as he grabbed his science book. A girl with her last name was safe here. He’d seen her parents stroll through here on parent teacher night, acting like they owned the place. They called all the teachers by their first names. _Even Miss Henson_ , he thought, shuddering.

He made his way up the stairs, heading into the science classroom. Mr. Raddford sitting at his desk, staring at something on his computer screen. Jack sat in his assigned seat. On his left was a curly-haired brunette who literally just played on her phone all class, and on his right was an asshole who loved to torment him.

“Hey bro,” the kid said.

Ugh. So it was starting already.

“Hellooo homie,” he continued.

“What do you want, Farley?” Jack asked, not meeting the kid’s eyes.

“I want to be your friieenndd,” Farley responded. If it could even count as a redeeming quality, it seemed that Farley was a master of sarcasm. No one could match the venom of his nonchalant sarcastic voice. No one. “Aren’t you tired of being allonnee?”

“Shut-up,” Jack mumbled. Normally that hit him right where it hurts, but now, now he was actually “making friends”. _Audrey has her disadvantages, but she does seem to like me...Or at least my love story_ , he thought, trying to drive Farley’s murmurs out of his head. Mark doesn’t hate me. That’s a start.

He smiled slightly, looking over at Mark. Mark of course had been moved away from his friends. There he sat, arms crossed, sandwiched between to two girls who could care less about science. Mark actually looked quite miserable there, shooting unamused glares at the girls as Mr. Raddford began to teach.

“Who knows how to find the mass of an atom?” the teacher called out. Hands shot up. Jack watched, silently pleading that Mr.Raddford wouldn’t be a dick and pick him anyways. His prayers were answered, Mr. Raddford instead called on the girl next to Mark. Sucker, he thought, a smirk similar to Mark’s as he watched the girl fluster.

“Um, atomic number???” she spluttered.

“Kind of, kind of,” Mr. Raddford said, biting his lip, eyes travelling around the classroom. “Who wants to help Sharaha with this question?”

Mark’s face lit up as Mr. Raddford called on him. “It’s protons plus neutrons.”

“Correct,” Mr. Raddford said, writing it on the board and going off on some speel. Jack pretended to pay attention, doodling on his notes and occasionally jotting something down. And now that his head was cleared, he had a plan for his next note.


	4. One Dollar and Fifty Cents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> less suffering

He smoothed the paper with his finger-tips, making sure the sticky-note would stay. He stepped back, smiling at his work. On bright pink paper read, “You can find me in the back, cutie,” with a heart. In all honesty, it didn’t narrow Mark’s search down much, but where was the fun it making it easy? Jack shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket, where he had his note-book. He snuck out the notebook, peeking in at his own drawings and writings as he joined the lunch line. They weren’t anything special, hell they were awful, but he kept creating anyways. He had nothing better to do in all honesty.

His finger caught on an especially creased page towards the beginning. It was a photo of home, with all his family. At the top of the page in his best handwriting it read, “Dreaming of the Life I Once Loved,” in dark blue glitter pen. He’d found the pen his first day of school after hiding under a desk. It was probably still in his locker, hiding, waiting until he needed it again.

“Is that your family?”

Jack whipped around, surprised to see Audrey had snuck up on him, (again). He slammed the notebook shut, shoving it back into his hoodie pocket. He didn’t say anything.

“Sorry, was that like your diary or something?” she said, casting her eyes down.

“No, I, uh, I just put that in there...for the lols?” he said, his statement coming out more like a question. Audrey waited a long second, before looking him square in the eye and painting a smile back on her face.

“So, you going to tell me what you two naughties did in the bathroom?” she asked.

“Really? We’re back on this?”

“Yes!” Audrey exclaimed, before whining, “Yoou promised.”

“Did I?” Jack asked, a smile playing on his lips.

“Don’t you mess with me after what I’ve been through,” Audrey said, glancing at Miss Henson, who was also the lunch monitor (lucky them).

“Fine. We literally just talked. Mark coaxed me out,” Jack said, face reddening a little at the thought of his awkward social encounter.

“Nothing else? Seriously?” Audrey exclaimed, “UGHHH. All that hype for nothing.” Jack smirked, momentarily plucking a fork and spoon from the container.

“What’d ya think we did? Sex in the bathroom stall?”

“Maybe,” Audrey said, giggling as Jack threw a salt packet at her. “Hey! I’m just kiddin’.”

“Are you?” Jack asked, “Because sometimes I wonder.”

He took a tray from the lunch lady, murmuring a ‘thanks’ and heading over to the salad bar. He placed an apple on his tray, also grabbing a carton of milk, (chocolate). He headed to the table in the back where he usually sat (alone). Audrey disappeared for a second, coming back with a friend.

“This is Sidney,” she explained, “And she is very good at drawing.”

“I’m not as good as she says,” Sidney said with a shrug. She had a tinge of an accent. _Not from around here eh? I can relate_ , Jack thought.

“Oh don’t even be humble. Just look at her eyeliner, it’s _so on point_ ,” Audrey continued, fangirling, “Open up your sketchbook.”

The girl did as asked, shooting Audrey an unamused glare. There were several beautiful drawings of classmates, (including Mark), “I do digital stuff too, it’s better...”

“Cool, I just can’t draw for shit,” Jack said, shrugging, touching his notebook gently. “You’re clearly gifted.”

“People throw the word ‘gifted’ around a lot, but I’m not, I just draw all the fucking time,” Sidney replied. “Maybe you just need to draw more.”

“Show him the one you did of him,” Audrey interrupted, moving to take the note-book from Sidney’s hands.

“But it’s the worst,” Sidney whined, face redding. She moved the sketches far out of Audrey’s reach.

“He’ll love it,” Audrey argued. Jack was curious now,

“Please?” he asked, pleading with his big blue eyes.

“Ugh, fine,” Sidney replied in defeat, moving the note-book back to the center of the table, where everyone could see. She flipped to the page, revealing the drawing. Jack’s eyes widened. He knew just when and where this had happened.

...

The wind ruffled the bit of hair that wasn’t hidden by his beanie. In front of him, blocking the few rays of sunlight, was some asshole thought Jack owed him money. It was ice cold for early October. Or maybe it was just him.

“I thought you’d be smart enough to stay away from me, scrub,” the kid growled.

“I don’t owe you anyth-”

“THAT’s enough out of you,” the kid continued, pushing Jack to the wall, “You’re just a flower in punk clothes. Faker.”

“And you think you’re a punk,” Jack choked out.

“What are you saying?” the kid asked. Going against his better judgement, Jack replied,

“You’re the faker.”

The kid screamed, punching Jack in the face. “You don’t know anything!” he exclaimed.

“I know more than you want me to know,” Jack mumbled, clutching his eye.

“Nevermind! I don’t want your tainted money! Stay the fuck away or I’ll get your other eye as well!” the kid yelled. Jack said nothing, waiting patiently on the ground. “Fuck you,” the kid continued, walking away. Jack reached for a rock, holding it in hand. He could throw it, and probably hit the kid. But that wouldn’t be smart, wouldn’t be the best thing to do. _Don’t fight fire with fire._ Something his older sister would say.

He slipped the rock in his pocket, standing up slowly. Slipping around the opposite side of the school, he found his way to the front steps, waiting in the rain for his mother. She was picking him up today for a dentist appointment. Joy. How long he’d have to wait, he didn’t know.

A few minutes passed. A girl with dirty blonde hair tied up in a bun walked out of the school, collapsing onto the stairs a little ways from him. Pushing hair out of her face, she pulled out her phone, presumably texting her parents or a friend to come pick her up. She looked his way, “Hey,” she said offhandedly.

“Hi,” Jack mumbled. The girl said nothing else, going back to her phone and texting furiously. Suddenly she shoved her phone into her pocket, climbing back to the top of the stairs and pulling out a sketch-book and pencil. Jack tried to ignore the sound of her pencil furiously scratching the paper. It was interfering with his little illusion of an unaccompanied paradise of rain and solitude. Luckily the loud shower of rain drowned out the pencil, the rain had intensified, and he closed his eyes. Thunder boomed in the distance. His eyes snapped open again. Another bolt of lightning flashed, followed by its respective thunder. Jack’s gaze travelled back to the girl. She appeared slightly alarmed by the thunder, but other than that she seemed content to be working away on her sketchpad. “What are you drawing?” Jack asked.

“Uh,” the girl spluttered, face turning a shade of red, “You.”

“Oh, uh, why?”

“How do I explain this,” she whispered to herself, thinking he could not hear her, “You look very aesthetically pleasing. The storm, and the light bruise on your eye, and your beanie, this is an artist’s dream come true, oh dear, I’m rambling aren’t I? Sorry, I uh, I’m not so good at the whole, uh, talking thing, you know? I’m, Imma just go back to drawing now, yeah.”

Jack bit his lip, trying to think of a response for the poor flustered girl. Suddenly he noticed headlights. “That’s my mom,” he commented.

“Wait!” she exclaimed, pulling out her phone, “Perfect!” she exclaimed.

“What?”

“I just needed a reference photo, that’s all,” the girl mumbled, “See you again sometime?”

“Uh yeah, see you around?” Jack replied, walking over to his mother’s car, and giving the girl a small wave.

“Who’s that?” his mother asked, “Your girlfriend?” Jack’s face reddened a little.

“No mom. I don’t even know her name.”

…

“This...This is amazing,” he said in awe, “It’s so...real.”

“Uh, thanks,” Sidney responded, blushing a little. Jack ran his finger gently over the pencil marks. He could even make out small droplets of water on his face. It was brilliant.

Jack’s thoughts were interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. “Uh, hi,” a smooth voice said. Behind him was Mark, looking a little nervous.

“Hi?” Jack squeaked. Audrey giggled, and Jack shot her a glare.

“I’m supposed to give this to you,” he continued, eyes briefly flicking behind him.

“Okay?” Jack said, taking the paper.

“S-See you later,” Mark mumbled, cheeks red, and he ran off.

“Is it a love letter?” Audrey whispered.

“No. It’s just a fucking yearbook sheet,” Jack responded.

“Damn. Next time I guess. Why was he all flustered though?” Audrey commented, “I betcha he likes you back.”

“You think?” Jack asked quietly, looking over at Mark. They made brief eye-contact, before both of them looked away.

“Wait a second…? You’re gay?”

Oh yeah. Sidney was here. “Technically no. I’m a bisexual, thank you very much.”

“Oh, okay,” Sidney said, looking almost...relieved?

“How come I didn’t get a yearbook paper?” Audrey asked, “Fischbach isn’t doing his job.”

“I don’t-” Jack stopped, finding a note and a dollar fifty on the inside. It read,

 _90% sure you gave me the coffee. If not, oh well, keep the money_.

“Fuck! He’s onto me,” Jack exclaimed.

“What?” Audrey asked, taking the paper from Jack’s hands, eyes scanning the words. “Oh my god, he totally is.”

“Coffee? What am I missing here?” Sidney asked, peering at the paper.

“Lover-boy over here left Markimoo a coffee with a love letter on it,” Audrey explained.

“It wasn’t really a love letter,” Jack murmured, face bright red.

“Oh, it was _definitely_ a love letter,” Audrey interrupted. Jack didn’t protest further. “Now we need a new plan. We need to get him over here, invite him over for luncheon.”

“Oh shut-up,” Jack moaned, “Luncheon? Really?”

“Yes really,” Audrey exclaimed, “It’ll be so romantic.”

“You’re right, nothing screams romantic like a school cafeteria-”

“-People have proposed in here before!” Audrey replied dreamily.

“Stop right there. We’re only fucking freshmen. I’m not going to propose.”

“Oh, but if you were older-?”

“-We’re not even dating Audrey!” Jack interrupted.

“You forgot yet. You’re not dating yet,” Audrey said.

“Wait, they’re not even dating?” Sidney exclaimed, a confused look in her eyes.

“Nope,” Audrey said, matter-o-factly. Sidney pursed her lips, thinking.

“Oh great. Now you’ve got her planning our wedding as well,” Jack groaned.

Audrey immediately replied, “What? If you’re not going to do it, who is?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I feel like this one's a little longer. Go me! I'll keep trying to update Fridays but I've been busy and haven't had much time to write ahead :/


	5. Hardcore Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a link to a playlist I made for this story :P I'll also be putting it on the first chapter
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTqKeWGJtyTWt5vPtJWioX5_64Y6va-cR

Rocks skidded out of the way as his tennis shoes hit the gravel road. Jack was running late, literally and figuratively, as he’d woken up late, a first for him. Usually he was up hours early (or, you know, he just didn’t sleep at all). His mother would be even more pissed at him if he missed the bus, so he sped up a little. Being clumsy as he was, he hit the ground, just to scramble back to his feet, brushing the rocks from his arms. He turned the corner, a bright orange shape just ahead. Of course. And then it started to move. “Shit!” he exclaimed, sprinting full speed towards the bus, and thanking every god in every religion as the bus slowed to stop. He got on, ignoring the stares and the jokes that were shared at his expense. Even the bus driver was smirking.

He found himself sitting down next to a brunette who looked thoroughly uncomfortable that he’d chosen to sit there. He cast his eyes down and away, hugging his book-bag to his chest. The seat squeaked as she moved, now she was hugging the window. His eyes travelled to her shoes. Pink converse, matching her whole pink aesthetic she had going. Slightly obnoxious. He looked around, searching for another seat, but the bus was packed as usual. “Do you want me to move?” he mumbled nervously.

“No, I’m, I’m just great,” the girl said tersely.

“I, uh, I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomtr-”

“Just shut up,” she said, glaring at him, before turning her gaze to the frost covered bus window.

“Okay,” Jack whispered. Great, another glare. She’d heard him. Fuck. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but she bit her lip and turned away. _Another long bus-ride? As if I haven’t had enough of those_ , he thought, pulling out his mp3, and putting in an ear-bud. He could feel the girl’s eyes on him, studying him and most likely judging the music he was listening to. Panicking, he flipped from “Speed of Love” by Owl City to “I Don’t Care,” by Fall Out Boy. _Think hardcore thoughts think hardcore thoughts-_

“Was that Owl City?”

Fuck.

“What? Uh, nope,” he responded, flustered.

“You’re such a shitty liar,” she said, rolling her eyes, “But both are good songs.”

“So you don’t hate me?” Jack squeaked.

“I suppose I hate you a smidge less,” she replied.

“That’s good, right?” Jack said, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Take it anyway you want I guess,” the girl said, “By the way, my name is Lilliana. And I know who you are.”

“In a creepy way?”

“Low-key. But no, not really,” Lilliana said. She dropped the conversation, turning back to the window. But now she wasn’t pressed up against it, no, she was the slightly closer to Jack.

Their ride came to an end, and Jack stood up, waiting for the kids in front of him to exit and let him out. Slipping into the aisle behind a large senior, he made his way off the bus, and the salty brunette was now out of sight. He let himself be pushed into the building by the flood of students behind him. Faces flashed by, but none he recognized by name. Finally his locker came into view. Rushing over, he opened it up. He threw his backpack roughly in, shutting the door with a hard push. He glanced down the hall. The flood of bus kids had dissipated, and now the halls were barren. This excluded Mark, who was at his locker, playing around with the lock while staring at his phone. He tried not to laugh as Mark almost dropped the device when his locker popped open. Mark glanced around, presumably checking to see who had seen him, and his face heated up as he noticed Jack standing there. “You didn’t see that!” he exclaimed, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Sure I didn’t,” Jack responded, sauntering past him, “I saw absolutely nothing.” Mark shoved his things into his locker, shaking his head.

“I’m not as graceful as I look,” he explained. Jack ran his fingers over his cut up arm.

“Yeah? At least you did trip in front a whole bus full of kids,” Jack responded, leaning against the locker to Mark’s left.

“One time I tripped down the stairs and landed on _Miss Henson_ ,” Mark replied, visibly shuddering.

“Rough. Did she try to kill you?” Jack asked, glancing over at her room, hoping she couldn’t hear their conversation.

“She looked like she was gonna slap me, but the principal was like right there, thankfully, so I lived,” Mark replied, “By the way, you should come sit with us, you know, if uh, Audrey doesn’t mind.”

“Audrey won’t care, it’s wh…” Jack stopped himself before he could say _“It’s what she wants.”_

“Cool. I can buy you a coffee if you want,” Mark said, as the pair started walking towards the cafeteria.

“Oh, you don’t have to, I have money-”

“It’s the nice thing to do,” Mark interrupted. “Want anything special or just plain?”

“I said you didn’t have to buy me anything,” Jack whined as Mark drug him over to the little place the FBLA kept shop.

“Go sit at my table. I’ll come back with something for you. It’ll be a surprise,” Mark insisted. Jack sighed,

“Fine. I’ll go.”

“Good. Wait there,” Mark continued, before turning to talk to the senior who was running the stand. Jack walked slowly over to the table, where a boy was already sitting.

“Hi,” the kid said, not looking up from the game he was playing.

“Uh, hi,” Jack said, nervously sitting down and hoping he didn’t steal someone’s seat. “What’re you doing?”

“Your mom,” a kid behind him said. Jack turned around. Another one of Mark’s friends. The sandy haired kid sat down next to him, snickering.

“No, I’m playing Crossy Road!” the tall kid insisted.

“So Mark finally invited you here? Took him long enough,” the sandy haired kid continued, “I’m Matthias.”

“Uh hi-”

“The kid addicted to Crossy Roads would be Wade,” Matthias continued, “Bob and Felix haven’t gotten here yet. Felix probably over-slept again.”

“Are you talking about me!?” A kid piped up from the breakfast line.

“Oh, look who it is,” Matthias said, “My fav.”

“Am I really your fav?” Felix, presumably, replied.

“The blue haired bae.”

“You better not let your girlfriend hear that,” Felix said with an obnoxious wink.

“Nah, she’d be all for a threesome,” Matthias said, choking up with laughter at his own joke.

“I’m back!” Mark suddenly announced, dramatically placing a coffee down in front of Jack. “Enjoy~.”

“It’s not nice to prank your boyfriend Mark,” Wade commented.

Mark’s face flushed, “It’s not a prank! And-uh, he’s not my boyfriend!”

“-Yet,” Felix interjected, sitting down.

“What did you do to it?” Jack asked, poking at the drink as though it was poisonous.

“Nothing! I’m innocent for once!” Mark exclaimed.

“I wouldn’t trust him,” Felix whispered loudly from across the table. Mark sighed, sitting down next to Jack.

“I swear I didn’t do anything to it,” Mark said.

“I’ll believe you,” Jack responded, lifting the drink, and expecting to taste salt or something. Nothing. It was literally fine.

“See, I told you assholes! I did nothing to it.”

“I guess he learned his lesson,” Wade commented. Mark’s face heated up again.

“What’s that mean?” Jack asked. Felix snickered.

Wade sighed, forced to explain, “Back in sixth grade a bunch of us guys dared him to ask out this girl and then prank her with some nasty kool-aid. She drank it, and then promptly spit it out all over Mark’s dress shirt, which he had to wear for his pictures. His mom was so mad-But honestly, Mark, you deserved it.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t,” Mark pouted.

Jack smiled, sipping again at the hot coffee.

“They make me look like a real douche, but I swear I’m not,” Mark insisted.

“What ever ya say Markimoo,” Jack responded casually.

“Markimoo? Giving me a nickname already?” Mark asked skeptically.

“Why not? It suits you,” Jack replied with a shrug.

“I’m not a cow??”

“I’m not changing my mind-” Jack said, interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

“I see you left me for the bae,” Audrey said, a smirk on her face. Jack felt his cheeks redden at the word bae.

“I-uh-Sorry, I-”

“She can sit here,” Mark interrupted. She smiled sweetly, sitting down. “So Audrey, how’s your day  been?”

“Shit,” she said, then quickly continuing, “I can’t believe he didn’t sit with me!”

“I said I was sorry,” Jack pouted.

“I thought it was fries before guys,” Audrey continued. Jack’s face continued to redden.

Out of the blue Wade spoke up, “Seriously though, when will you guys become cannon? I mean it’s not subtle that he’s the one leaving you those notes, Mark. I saw him leave that coffee.”

“You did-?” Jack asked, just to interrupted by Mark.

“You didn’t tell me-?”

Both of the teens look away from each other, faces glowing red. Wade laughs, “Wow guys.” The bell rings, disrupting their talk and allowing Mark and Jack to bolt from the table, leaving Audrey and Wade behind.

“You know, I could hook you up with one of my girls,” Audrey comments. “Molly’s definitely your type.”

“Is she now?”

“Oh yeah-”

...

“Caught you,” Mark said, peeking back into the band room. Jack dropped the note, and it fluttered to the floor. He reached to pick it back up, and Mark sprinted towards him, taking it from him.

“Hey!” Jack squealed, face reddening as Mark’s eyes scanned the words.

“You’re too sweet,” Mark said softly, a smile forming on his lips.

“Sweet? Me?” Jack exclaimed, “Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m hardcore!”

“Yeah, as hardcore as a cookie,” Mark responded.

“I’m sure there’s a hardcore song about cookies,” Jack shot back, crossing his arms.

“Oh yeah. Email me the link if you stumble across it,” Mark said. Jack smiled nervously, looking away. It was quiet now, and his brain searched for something to say, but Mark beat him to it. “So are we going to get, you know, serious?” Jack’s face flushed.

“I, uh, I don’t know, I mean-”

“Uh, nevermind, okay? I’ve, uh, got to get to class, and…” Mark trailed off, walking faster and faster until he disappeared in the crowd of kids.

“God fucking dammit,” Jack murmured, “Fuck me.”

“What’d you do this time?” a voice behind him. Audrey.

“I fucked it up,” Jack murmured, “I was scared.”

“Scared?” Audrey asked, “Of Mark? The two things just don’t go together-” Jack stayed quiet, trying to find a response. “Holy shit, what did he do?”

“I feel like he was asking me out but he said it weird and I panicked, okay?” Jack replied quietly. Audrey bit her lip.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, this is Mark we’re talking about. He won’t give up that easy,” Audrey said. Jack didn’t say anything. Audrey took his hand, squeezing it. “Look at me. Seriously. It’s going to be fine. You didn’t mess everything up-”

“No hand-holding at school! That breaks PDA rules!!” Miss Henson growled. Audrey seethed, dropping his hand.

“It was fucking platonic,” she murmured, barely audibly. Jack stayed quiet. Several students eyes were on them, obviously making assumptions. Great. I’ll add this to the list of 101 reasons why Mark hates me, Jack thought, sighing.

...

The low drone of students speaking was taking its toll on him. Audrey was nowhere to be seen and Jack was alone at his table, staring silently out the window.It was all happening too fast for him and he just couldn’t process it. His chest felt tight as he breathed a shaking deep breath, and it wasn’t until the near end of the period that he was jerked back into reality by a hand on his shoulder. His heart skipped a beat, but he was thoroughly let down to find it was just the bus girl, Lilliana. “We need to talk,” she said.

“About what?” he replied, slight misery apparent in his tone.

“Audrey,” Lilliana responded in a low voice, sitting down at the table. “I don’t know where she went?”

“Oh, I just assumed she went and sat with you guys, I think I pissed her off or something,” Jack murmured.

“No, no if she was mad at you you’d certainly know,” Lilliana quickly responded, “I just haven’t seen her at lunch at all. She’s here, I mean we both saw her today, but I don’t know where she went.”

“Why are you asking me? The only reason she cares about me is because she wants to see me in a relationship. It’s kinda creepy now that I say it out loud-”

“You really are fucking blind. You want to know why she hooks people up like that?” Lilliana went quiet, looking away for a second, “She fucking can’t feel love, and it drives her insane. I can accept that she’s aromantic but for some reason she can’t. I think it’s her family. Her father pushes so hard on her to continue the family name or whatever and have children and happy relationship but, she just, doesn’t like-like anyone.” Lilliana went silent. “Don’t tell her I told you, fuck I should’ve just kept my mouth shut..” Jack bit his lip. “Seriously. But it’s kinda obvious, r-right?”

“I mean, I had no idea, but I’m not the most perceptive person,” Jack said.

“Fuck, just, uh, act normal?” Lilliana said, eyes searching frantically all around, “Just don’t talk about HER relationship. Okay?”

“Wait, is she...dating someone?” Jack asked.

“Yes,” Lilliana said tersely, “But it’s really one-sided at this point.”

“Who?”

Lilliana looked down and away, “Me.”

“You? And Audrey?” Jack asked in confusion. A sly smile formed on Lilliana’s face,

“I think it’s funny you of all people assume everyone is het.”

“So she’s bi?”

“Pan actually,” Lillian said, “Fuck, there I go, doing it again. I’m a fucking awful person. But she can’t hide in the closet forever. You treat her any different and I’ll fucking kill you.” Jack smiled nervously, relieved as the bell rung. As he sprinted down the hall, he froze, seeing Mark emerge from the bathroom. He appeared as though he’d been crying. They met eyes. Mark walked towards him.

“I-I didn’t mean to, uh, freak you out or anything like that,” Mark said.

“You didn’t, I was just surprised-”

“Look, I know it seems weird, but I’ve liked you ever since I first saw you- your bright green hair is so nice, and your eyes are so pretty, and the first time I heard you giggle, I just, I have it bad for you, and I just was so disappointed that you didn’t automatically respond that I freaked out,” Mark admitted, playing nervously with his longish hair.

“So are you okay now?” Jack asked quietly, watching Mark smile, wiping his eyes.

“Y-Yeah, I believe so,” Mark replied. Jack smiled back, taking Mark’s hand in his own and squeezing it gently.

“Good.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My update might be late next week, I've had some writers block and have barely even started Chapter Six. Sorry in advance. Obviously you can ignore this if I update anyways lol
> 
> But hey, this chapter is ACTUALLY probably the longest one yet, it's like what, 2,000 word?

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you enjoyed! I'm planning on this updating this (comments really inspire me, ;) Please tell me if you want more! I love hearing lovely things, and I have a little more written up ahead :)


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